Man Rules

Filed in Funny by on June 12, 2013 16 Comments

These are the Man Rules!

  1. Men are not mind readers.
  2. Learn toe work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl, if it’s up put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
  3. Sunday sports, it’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it BE!
  4. Crying is blackmail.
  5. Ask for what you want, let’s be clear on this one:
  6. Subtle hints do  not work!
  7. Strong hints do not work!
  8. Obvious hints do not work!
  9. Just Say IT!
  10. Yes and no are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
  11. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.  Thats what we do.
  12. Sympathy is what your girlfriend are for..
  13. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument
  14. In-fact, all comments become null and voice after 7 days.
  15. If you think your fat, you probably are, don’t ask
  16. If something we said can can be interpreted two ways and on of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
  17. You can either ask us to do something, or tell us how you want  it done not both
  18. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
  19. Whenever possible, please say what you have to say during commercials.
  20. Christopher Columbus didn’t need directions and neither do we.
  21. All men see in only 16 colors, like windows default settings.  Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color.  Pumpkin is also a fruit, we have not idea what mauve is.
  22. If it itches, it will be scratched.
  23. If we ask what is wrong and you say ‘nothing’, we will act like nothing’s wrong.
  24. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
  25. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect and answer you don’t want to hear.
  26. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine….Really.
  27. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking unless you are prepared to discuss topics such as baseball or golf.
  28. You have enough clothes.
  29. You have to many shoes.
  30. I am in shape, round is a shape!
  31. Thank you for reading this.
  32. Yes I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men don’t really mind that? It’s like camping.

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